Friday, October 31, 2008
Thursday, October 30, 2008
quotes:
"you don't have to know this, but if you're really interested, you can go and take a look, and run all the statistical analysis!" (grins)
comments:
poor undergrad students with processor the speed and size one-sixth of yours have no time to be interested =(
*
Hello folks,
if you have not realized by now, tutorial solutions are posted up on Edventure after all the tutorials are over. You should know by now that the coursework is fairly cumulative and that it's beneficial for you to grasp each week's concept prior to new class information. While I'm just an experimental psychologist here to help you understand the concepts involved in statistics, I'm not a hardcore statistician, and so I'm not the best person in accurately representing algorithms using greek alphabets. Your best bet is to look at the solutions posted by Prof. to see how the equation models should be written. After all, I believe he will be pretty particular about it.
I apologize for my limitation in writing and translating alien language. People like us care more about running efficient experiements and deriving the statistics we need, and not so much representing our findings in the form of equations. If you're lagging behind or strugging with some of the statistical applications, please do not hesitate (and do not wait) to find us for assistance.
Your friendly neighborhood TA,
SQ
*
that's one over enthu, and one over crappy.
i think i prefer the brainy one.
"you don't have to know this, but if you're really interested, you can go and take a look, and run all the statistical analysis!" (grins)
comments:
poor undergrad students with processor the speed and size one-sixth of yours have no time to be interested =(
*
Hello folks,
if you have not realized by now, tutorial solutions are posted up on Edventure after all the tutorials are over. You should know by now that the coursework is fairly cumulative and that it's beneficial for you to grasp each week's concept prior to new class information. While I'm just an experimental psychologist here to help you understand the concepts involved in statistics, I'm not a hardcore statistician, and so I'm not the best person in accurately representing algorithms using greek alphabets. Your best bet is to look at the solutions posted by Prof. to see how the equation models should be written. After all, I believe he will be pretty particular about it.
I apologize for my limitation in writing and translating alien language. People like us care more about running efficient experiements and deriving the statistics we need, and not so much representing our findings in the form of equations. If you're lagging behind or strugging with some of the statistical applications, please do not hesitate (and do not wait) to find us for assistance.
Your friendly neighborhood TA,
SQ
*
that's one over enthu, and one over crappy.
i think i prefer the brainy one.
Sunday, October 26, 2008
http://handwritingwizard.com
Huiting uses judgment to make decisions. She is ruled by her head, not her heart. She is a cool, collected person who is usually unexpressive emotionally. Some may see her as unemotional. She does have emotions but has no need to express them. She is withdrawn into herself and enjoys being alone.
The circumstances when Huiting does express emotions include: extreme anger, extreme passion, and tremendous stress. If someone gets her mad enough to tell her off, she will not be sorry about it later. She puts a mark in her mind when someone angers her. She keeps track of these marks and when she hits that last mark she will let them know they have gone too far. She is ruled somewhat by self-interest. All her conclusions are made without outside emotional influence. She is very level-headed and will remain calm in an emergency situation. In a situation where other people might get hysterical, she has poise.
Huiting will work more efficiently if given space and time to be alone. She would rather not be surrounded by people constantly. In a relationship, she will show her love by the things she does rather than by the things she says. Saying "I love you" is not a needed routine because she feels her mate should already know. The only exception to this is if she has logically concluded that it is best for her mate to hear her express her love verbally.
Huiting is not subject to emotional appeals. If someone is selling a product to her, they will need to present only the facts. They should present them from a standpoint of her sound judgment. She will not be taken in by an emotional story about someone else. She will meet emergencies without getting hysterical and she will always ask "Is this best for me?"
People that write their letters in an average height and average size are moderate in their ability to interact socially. According to the data input, Huiting doesn't write too large or too small, indicating a balanced ability to be social and interact with others.
Huiting will demand respect and will expect others to treat her with honor and dignity. Huiting believes in her ideas and will expect other people to also respect them. She has a lot of pride.
Huiting is secretive. She has secrets which she does not wish to share with others. She intentionally conceals things about herself. She has a private side that she intends to keep that way, especially concerning certain events in her past.
In reference to Huiting's mental abilities, she has a very investigating and creating mind. She investigates projects rapidly because she is curious about many things. She gets involved in many projects that seem good at the beginning, but she soon must slow down and look at all the angles. She probably gets too many things going at once. When Huiting slows down, then she becomes more creative than before. Since it takes time to be creative, she must slow down to do it. She then decides what projects she has time to finish. Thus she finishes at a slower pace than when she started the project.
She has the best of two kinds of minds. One is the quick investigating mind. The other is the creative mind. Her mind thinks quick and rapidly in the investigative mode. She can learn quicker, investigate more, and think faster. Huiting can then switch into her low gear. When she is in the slower mode, she can be creative, remember longer and stack facts in a logical manner. She is more logical this way and can climb mental mountains with a much better grip.
Huiting's true self-image is unreasonably low. Someone once told Huiting that she wasn't a great and beautiful person, and she believed them. Huiting also has a fear that she might fail if she takes large risks. Therefore she resists setting her goals too high, risking failure. She doesn't have the internal confidence that frees her to take risks and chance failure. Huiting is capable of accomplishing much more than she is presently achieving. All this relates to her self-esteem. Huiting's self-concept is artificially low. Huiting will stay in a bad situation much too long... why? Because she is afraid that if she makes a change, it might get worse. It is hard for Huiting to plan too far into the future. She kind of takes things on a day to day basis. She may tell you her dreams but she is living in today, with a fear of making a change. No matter how loud she speaks, look at her actions. This is perhaps the biggest single barrier to happiness people not believing in and loving themselves. Huiting is an example of someone living with a low self-image, because their innate self-confidence was broken.
Something is incomplete in Huiting's life. She feels frustration relating to her physical needs and desires. Somewhere in her life there is some disappointment, non-fulfillment, and interruption. This is very likely to relate to Huiting's sexual needs.
Huiting is selective when picking friends. She does not trust everyone. She has a select group of people that are truly close to her, usually two or three. She is careful when choosing her inner circle of friends.
Huiting has a very unusual lower zone y loop. If the data input is correct, Huiting's y or g is large and opens up to the left side of the page. This is not a common trait, but the implications are very interesting. As you begin to study handwriting analysis, you will learn any loop indicates imagination. This lower loop indicates the amount of imagination Huiting has regarding sex and physical things. So, her lower zone stroke is large, so her sexual imagination is large and open. Furthermore, because the loop is incomplete and extends to the left, this indicates a particular fascination with certain aspects of sexuality that have not been fulfilled, yet. In a nutshell, Huiting is open to some very new ideas sexually and is willing to try anything once.
For a graphologist, the spacing on the page reflects the writer's attitude toward their own world and relationship to things in his or her own space. If the inputted data was correct Huiting has left lots of white space on the left side of the paper. Huiting fills up the rest of the page in a normal fashion. If this is true, then Huiting has a healthy relationship to the past and is ready to move on. The right side of the page represents the future and Huiting is ready and willing to get started living now and planning for the future. Huiting would like to leave the past behind and move on.
*
These are what i call very Barnum Statements.
Huiting uses judgment to make decisions. She is ruled by her head, not her heart. She is a cool, collected person who is usually unexpressive emotionally. Some may see her as unemotional. She does have emotions but has no need to express them. She is withdrawn into herself and enjoys being alone.
The circumstances when Huiting does express emotions include: extreme anger, extreme passion, and tremendous stress. If someone gets her mad enough to tell her off, she will not be sorry about it later. She puts a mark in her mind when someone angers her. She keeps track of these marks and when she hits that last mark she will let them know they have gone too far. She is ruled somewhat by self-interest. All her conclusions are made without outside emotional influence. She is very level-headed and will remain calm in an emergency situation. In a situation where other people might get hysterical, she has poise.
Huiting will work more efficiently if given space and time to be alone. She would rather not be surrounded by people constantly. In a relationship, she will show her love by the things she does rather than by the things she says. Saying "I love you" is not a needed routine because she feels her mate should already know. The only exception to this is if she has logically concluded that it is best for her mate to hear her express her love verbally.
Huiting is not subject to emotional appeals. If someone is selling a product to her, they will need to present only the facts. They should present them from a standpoint of her sound judgment. She will not be taken in by an emotional story about someone else. She will meet emergencies without getting hysterical and she will always ask "Is this best for me?"
People that write their letters in an average height and average size are moderate in their ability to interact socially. According to the data input, Huiting doesn't write too large or too small, indicating a balanced ability to be social and interact with others.
Huiting will demand respect and will expect others to treat her with honor and dignity. Huiting believes in her ideas and will expect other people to also respect them. She has a lot of pride.
Huiting is secretive. She has secrets which she does not wish to share with others. She intentionally conceals things about herself. She has a private side that she intends to keep that way, especially concerning certain events in her past.
In reference to Huiting's mental abilities, she has a very investigating and creating mind. She investigates projects rapidly because she is curious about many things. She gets involved in many projects that seem good at the beginning, but she soon must slow down and look at all the angles. She probably gets too many things going at once. When Huiting slows down, then she becomes more creative than before. Since it takes time to be creative, she must slow down to do it. She then decides what projects she has time to finish. Thus she finishes at a slower pace than when she started the project.
She has the best of two kinds of minds. One is the quick investigating mind. The other is the creative mind. Her mind thinks quick and rapidly in the investigative mode. She can learn quicker, investigate more, and think faster. Huiting can then switch into her low gear. When she is in the slower mode, she can be creative, remember longer and stack facts in a logical manner. She is more logical this way and can climb mental mountains with a much better grip.
Huiting's true self-image is unreasonably low. Someone once told Huiting that she wasn't a great and beautiful person, and she believed them. Huiting also has a fear that she might fail if she takes large risks. Therefore she resists setting her goals too high, risking failure. She doesn't have the internal confidence that frees her to take risks and chance failure. Huiting is capable of accomplishing much more than she is presently achieving. All this relates to her self-esteem. Huiting's self-concept is artificially low. Huiting will stay in a bad situation much too long... why? Because she is afraid that if she makes a change, it might get worse. It is hard for Huiting to plan too far into the future. She kind of takes things on a day to day basis. She may tell you her dreams but she is living in today, with a fear of making a change. No matter how loud she speaks, look at her actions. This is perhaps the biggest single barrier to happiness people not believing in and loving themselves. Huiting is an example of someone living with a low self-image, because their innate self-confidence was broken.
Something is incomplete in Huiting's life. She feels frustration relating to her physical needs and desires. Somewhere in her life there is some disappointment, non-fulfillment, and interruption. This is very likely to relate to Huiting's sexual needs.
Huiting is selective when picking friends. She does not trust everyone. She has a select group of people that are truly close to her, usually two or three. She is careful when choosing her inner circle of friends.
Huiting has a very unusual lower zone y loop. If the data input is correct, Huiting's y or g is large and opens up to the left side of the page. This is not a common trait, but the implications are very interesting. As you begin to study handwriting analysis, you will learn any loop indicates imagination. This lower loop indicates the amount of imagination Huiting has regarding sex and physical things. So, her lower zone stroke is large, so her sexual imagination is large and open. Furthermore, because the loop is incomplete and extends to the left, this indicates a particular fascination with certain aspects of sexuality that have not been fulfilled, yet. In a nutshell, Huiting is open to some very new ideas sexually and is willing to try anything once.
For a graphologist, the spacing on the page reflects the writer's attitude toward their own world and relationship to things in his or her own space. If the inputted data was correct Huiting has left lots of white space on the left side of the paper. Huiting fills up the rest of the page in a normal fashion. If this is true, then Huiting has a healthy relationship to the past and is ready to move on. The right side of the page represents the future and Huiting is ready and willing to get started living now and planning for the future. Huiting would like to leave the past behind and move on.
*
These are what i call very Barnum Statements.
The Boyfriend's parents were away for the weekend, and the sisters were out, so I took charge of the kitchen yesterday! =P
Pulled lulu out of house early in the morning to NTUC for grocery shopping. And I had this warped idea that grocery shopping is never grocery shopping without the big big trolley. So I made him push a big big trolley which contained ingredients for our LUNCH only. Hahaha. So people kept walking past and staring at our 1/10 filled trolley. *ahems* Hahaha~ I wasn't the one pushing anyway, so it's alright. =D
Yeap, and we headed home, and I cooked the longest homemade lunch ever! -_-''' Hahaha. Righhhhht. Coz it's my first time cooking a full meal okay. So we took like erm.... 4 hours? preparing + looking for stuff + cooking + going down to get more stuff + eating + washing up. Hahaha!
But it was very fun! Now I know what it means by 想抓住男人就得先抓住他的胃!! Deardear totally 中招了! ^^
I made cheese omelette with lots of ham and bacon chips inside, carbonara pasta, and cream of mushroom soup!
Recipes all taken online, except for the pasta. Pasta was made by modelling learning~ Hahahaa. Watched my brother cooking the day before, and just imitated him lor. And it turned out great! ^^
Cheese omelette was improvised by yours truly~ Only followed part of the recipe.. Hahaaha. And it turned out very very nice too! Wheeee. Cheese rocks!! ^^
Highlight of the day was Cream of Mushroom! It took the longest to prepare. Coz we forgot to soak the mushrooms first, so waited very long for it to soften =X And i changed the recipe again~ Hahaha. And it took time to boil, and blend it etc... In the end, it was uber uber fab!! Yea, the photos don't exactly do justice =X But Lulu says it's restaurant standard!!! ^^ WHEEEE!
Hahaha! And so I discovered my hidden-for-21-years talent of cooking yesterday!! ^^ Yay~ It's so nice to cook for my lovely to eat, and seeing him eat what I cooked so happily (well, he had to look happy, or else...)! =) And I was not very clever. All the groceries I bought is cannot finish using to cook one meal de. So lulu happily declared I can go over and cook more often -_-''' Hahaha. I shall quit school on 11 november and happily go be my lulu's ful-time 煮饭婆! ^^
Hahahaa.. Anyway, here are some random photos I was supposed to update eons ago~ Eh don't have time to upload everything actually. Especially the lantern fest ones. Have like hundreds of photos. Hahaha. And I am pretty lazy to rearrange them in sequence or rotate them, so you hafta go figure =)
And I was supposed to come online to do Ringo tutorial! HELP! What am i doing here!?
Pulled lulu out of house early in the morning to NTUC for grocery shopping. And I had this warped idea that grocery shopping is never grocery shopping without the big big trolley. So I made him push a big big trolley which contained ingredients for our LUNCH only. Hahaha. So people kept walking past and staring at our 1/10 filled trolley. *ahems* Hahaha~ I wasn't the one pushing anyway, so it's alright. =D
Yeap, and we headed home, and I cooked the longest homemade lunch ever! -_-''' Hahaha. Righhhhht. Coz it's my first time cooking a full meal okay. So we took like erm.... 4 hours? preparing + looking for stuff + cooking + going down to get more stuff + eating + washing up. Hahaha!
But it was very fun! Now I know what it means by 想抓住男人就得先抓住他的胃!! Deardear totally 中招了! ^^
I made cheese omelette with lots of ham and bacon chips inside, carbonara pasta, and cream of mushroom soup!
Recipes all taken online, except for the pasta. Pasta was made by modelling learning~ Hahahaa. Watched my brother cooking the day before, and just imitated him lor. And it turned out great! ^^
Cheese omelette was improvised by yours truly~ Only followed part of the recipe.. Hahaaha. And it turned out very very nice too! Wheeee. Cheese rocks!! ^^
Highlight of the day was Cream of Mushroom! It took the longest to prepare. Coz we forgot to soak the mushrooms first, so waited very long for it to soften =X And i changed the recipe again~ Hahaha. And it took time to boil, and blend it etc... In the end, it was uber uber fab!! Yea, the photos don't exactly do justice =X But Lulu says it's restaurant standard!!! ^^ WHEEEE!
Hahaha! And so I discovered my hidden-for-21-years talent of cooking yesterday!! ^^ Yay~ It's so nice to cook for my lovely to eat, and seeing him eat what I cooked so happily (well, he had to look happy, or else...)! =) And I was not very clever. All the groceries I bought is cannot finish using to cook one meal de. So lulu happily declared I can go over and cook more often -_-''' Hahaha. I shall quit school on 11 november and happily go be my lulu's ful-time 煮饭婆! ^^
Hahahaa.. Anyway, here are some random photos I was supposed to update eons ago~ Eh don't have time to upload everything actually. Especially the lantern fest ones. Have like hundreds of photos. Hahaha. And I am pretty lazy to rearrange them in sequence or rotate them, so you hafta go figure =)
And I was supposed to come online to do Ringo tutorial! HELP! What am i doing here!?
Jay Chou 周杰伦 - 时光机 / Shi Guang Ji / Time Machine
DORAEMON!!! ^^
Hahahaa... Super cute! Note the guitar! Lol.
Friday, October 24, 2008
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
was talking to a year 2 psych student that day...
A: got this girl in our cohort, GPA 5.0 de, damn zai
Me: Oh! My friend also GPA 5.0~ Hahaa.
A: Then we asked the girl how she study de, then she super self-disciplined! She limit her boyfriend can only call her 2x, and sms max. 10x per week!
Me: Wahhhhhhhhhh. That's crazy!! Lucky my GPA 5.0 friend not like that!!! =O
Dear's response when i told him about it after that:
Wah. If i'm the boyfriend i won't even bother to call her at all le.
*ahems*
That explains why i'm procrastinating and doing nothing now =]
A: got this girl in our cohort, GPA 5.0 de, damn zai
Me: Oh! My friend also GPA 5.0~ Hahaa.
A: Then we asked the girl how she study de, then she super self-disciplined! She limit her boyfriend can only call her 2x, and sms max. 10x per week!
Me: Wahhhhhhhhhh. That's crazy!! Lucky my GPA 5.0 friend not like that!!! =O
Dear's response when i told him about it after that:
Wah. If i'm the boyfriend i won't even bother to call her at all le.
*ahems*
That explains why i'm procrastinating and doing nothing now =]
Sunday, October 19, 2008
http://www.metacafe.com/watch/651853/sleepy_baby/
hahaaa.
on a side note, i do not like whiny deh xiao meimeis who go around seducing overaged married men, and trying to wheedle every other man, getting a thousand and one old man fawn over you. 小妹妹，懂得什么叫做矜持吗？不要见到男人就扑好不好？*do not understand the young ppl (girls) nowadays* is this what they really mean by 现在的年轻人都很早熟?? i think i prefer our days where everyone was still innocent HARMLESS and childish at that age. oh well. i should stop sounding like a shrew. *矜持!*
hahaaa.
on a side note, i do not like whiny deh xiao meimeis who go around seducing overaged married men, and trying to wheedle every other man, getting a thousand and one old man fawn over you. 小妹妹，懂得什么叫做矜持吗？不要见到男人就扑好不好？*do not understand the young ppl (girls) nowadays* is this what they really mean by 现在的年轻人都很早熟?? i think i prefer our days where everyone was still innocent HARMLESS and childish at that age. oh well. i should stop sounding like a shrew. *矜持!*
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
CLICK HERE!! http://letmebatheinpeace.wordpress.com/
YAY! It's finally done! Featuring my HP320 Behavior Modification Project... *TA-DAH!!* =) Ok, so basically we were supposed to design a self-control program to reduce/eliminate an undesirable behavior of our own. So i have chosen to reduce my time taken to bathe! Hahaa. How aptly bimbotic of me right. =X
Ok, so please do support me [my prof will be watching!! O_O], and leave some constructive comments (in proper English, please)! hahaa. it's ok if you have no comments, can just take a look for reference in case you decide you want to reduce your bathing time, sleeping time, PSP playing time, etc.. in future, and need some tips. hahahaha.
tchao!
*happy belated 10 months to us! happy belated 75 months to jul&cy! happy 3 months to stephie&feng!* hahaha!
YAY! It's finally done! Featuring my HP320 Behavior Modification Project... *TA-DAH!!* =) Ok, so basically we were supposed to design a self-control program to reduce/eliminate an undesirable behavior of our own. So i have chosen to reduce my time taken to bathe! Hahaa. How aptly bimbotic of me right. =X
Ok, so please do support me [my prof will be watching!! O_O], and leave some constructive comments (in proper English, please)! hahaa. it's ok if you have no comments, can just take a look for reference in case you decide you want to reduce your bathing time, sleeping time, PSP playing time, etc.. in future, and need some tips. hahahaha.
tchao!
*happy belated 10 months to us! happy belated 75 months to jul&cy! happy 3 months to stephie&feng!* hahaha!
Saturday, October 11, 2008
i never do believe in holding back my love.
well, maybe i'm lying. i used to do that after my last breakup. coz i thought i never want to be hurt again. i put on a strong front, told myself i'm a strong girl, convinced everyone else around me that i'm strong, and talked a great deal about how unreliable the whole concept of love, boys, and marriage could be.
to put it in simple words, i never thought i could love again.
if you know me long and well enough, perhaps you'll realise by now how easily i fall. no, not fall down, fall for somebody i meant. it often takes a mere spark of chemistry and huge doses of niceness, and in i fit myself nicely into the trap. no denying here how dangerous that gets.
in a way, after the last break, i never wanted to fall in love again. and in a way, i still fall in and out of a few crushes now and then. but there was the note of caution to self not to give too much and get hurt again. i never wanted to commit to anything either.
well, at least until he walked into my life.
it wasn't always smooth-sailing and right away of coz. but it was comfortable being with him, and if there was anyone who could regain my confidence in love and marriage, it was him. coz barely a month into the relationship, i was ready to get married.
you may gape at my impulsiveness. but i am one who pretty much go with my feelings. and scary as it may sound, i've never gotten into a relationship that i don't want to turn into a marriage. ok, except one, which i convinced myself that it probably wouldn't be that bad. which explains why it ended in 18 days. hah.
they tell me that i'm too young to be thinking about marriage. and they say to always make sure your partner is the one treating you better than you are treating him. and one of the ways is supposedly to tell him you're not marrying him for certain unless he remains nice, good and all to you.
i don't think there's anything particularly wrong with thinking that way. but it just doesn't work for me.
to me, if i'm in a relationship with someone whom i don't intend to get married to, i'd simply be wasting my time and youth away. so if you don't want to marry your partner, why do you treat him extra nice, save him the biggest portion of your heart, and let him treat you extra nice in return? companionship? i could be a normal friend, and still keep you company what. why must you get yourself a partner then?
although i've been hurt enough before to realise that it's really unhealthy to put everything i have into a relationship without any reservations, i guess it's just the way i function. if you're my friend for long enough, you'll probably realise that if you treat me nice enough, i generally treat you quite nice too. (if you have issues about me being not nice enough to you, you can probably tell me, but i'll probably tell you too i don't think you're treating me nice enough, or i probably don't treat you as that close a friend as you think.) and if you're my love, and you're treating me nice, all the more i'll reciprocate without any qualms. unfortunately, i can't make myself un-nice if the person is being nice to me. it's either all or nothing for me. and unfortunately too, if the relationship goes on long enough, and my love starts being un-nice to me, i'll still be nice. fortunately, i got out of such an abusive relationship 2 years ago.
and how do you think it will be like if both you and your partner think that the other party should be the one being nicer to the self? you can sing on and on about how the other party should always be the once nicer to you than you are nice to him. but what if he tells you one day that he expects the same out of you too? how would you feel then? would you be happy to hear that? so why expect something out of somebody which you can't gurantee doing yourself?
and if you think my boyfriend is too nice for me to be typing all this crap here, every couple do have their issues. no couple will be woeless just by being nice to each other. needless to say, we have our fair share of unhappiness now and then. it's about how you work things out together when things are not working out for you. which i don't deny, i still have much to learn about how to go about doing this.
i know it's hard to put up with an un-nice partner whom you really love. and i know how it's even harder to initiate a break with the one you love so much. i was fortunate he did something unforgivable first, so that i can slap myself in the face after getting dumped, and never turn back again. but not everyone gets a chance. i personally regret not getting out of an abusive relationship sooner. don't make yourself regret in future too. you think you can't do without him, that's because you haven't given yourself a chance. everyone deserves a chance to be happy; not the occassional type of happy when he's sweet to you once in a thousand years. i'm talking about the kind of long-lasting happiness, which if you can no longer picture the both of you together in 10 years down the road, it's time you do something about it, or leave it.
on the flip side, neither do i believe in not marrying your partner unless he implicitly stays nice to you. true, if you're not happy in your relationship, and he's not treating you well before marriage, chances are 99.9999999999999% that you'll not be happy after marriage, and 100% that he's never gonna treat you well after marriage. but again, what promises or happiness can you secure by telling him that you won't marry him unless he stays nice to you? afraid that he'll change in the future? what makes you think he's not going to change once you are married? true, he can stay nice to you, and you can happily get married. but is that going to say anything about how he'll treat you after getting married?
i'm not saying by outwardly declaring that i'm getting married in 4 years time will gurantee a happy marriage. (though, yes, i'm quite sure of that actually.) but at least i won't be sending the wrong signal to a guy who's really nice to me now, and whom i love the most, that whether i love or marry him eventually will be dependent on how hard he has to work to continually please me. to me, and i know to both of us, love is not about how hard he tries to be good and make me happy now (i.e. before marriage); it's about how we work things out together and still continually shape our love to be perfect together, with each different phase we enter. some may say the real challenge is during NS, and some may say it's when one is in uni and the other is not, and some say it's when you both enter workforce. real enough, they are all challenging phases. but does that mean once you pass that phase, you no longer have to work to maintain a happy relationship anymore? what about the merging of your two families after you get married? what about when a child or more comes along? what about growing old and falling sick together? are these all not issues important for you to take into consideration too? so now you have even more issues to worry about, so when then can you get married?
no, you can't try to calculate everything nicely into the picture when you're in love. to me, it's today that's important. and if i'm going to keep holding back my love, just to make sure somebody will be nice to me for the rest for my life, i don't think the somebody is my mr right. coz mr right will never have to make me do that in exchange for his niceness and love for me.
so much so for the girl who wanted to get married before 24 when she was 14, and no longer wanted to get married when she was 19, and is now confirming getting married by 25.
it's ok if you can't appreciate my way of love. i've found my somebody else who does, and his affirmation is all i really care 'bout. =)
well, maybe i'm lying. i used to do that after my last breakup. coz i thought i never want to be hurt again. i put on a strong front, told myself i'm a strong girl, convinced everyone else around me that i'm strong, and talked a great deal about how unreliable the whole concept of love, boys, and marriage could be.
to put it in simple words, i never thought i could love again.
if you know me long and well enough, perhaps you'll realise by now how easily i fall. no, not fall down, fall for somebody i meant. it often takes a mere spark of chemistry and huge doses of niceness, and in i fit myself nicely into the trap. no denying here how dangerous that gets.
in a way, after the last break, i never wanted to fall in love again. and in a way, i still fall in and out of a few crushes now and then. but there was the note of caution to self not to give too much and get hurt again. i never wanted to commit to anything either.
well, at least until he walked into my life.
it wasn't always smooth-sailing and right away of coz. but it was comfortable being with him, and if there was anyone who could regain my confidence in love and marriage, it was him. coz barely a month into the relationship, i was ready to get married.
you may gape at my impulsiveness. but i am one who pretty much go with my feelings. and scary as it may sound, i've never gotten into a relationship that i don't want to turn into a marriage. ok, except one, which i convinced myself that it probably wouldn't be that bad. which explains why it ended in 18 days. hah.
they tell me that i'm too young to be thinking about marriage. and they say to always make sure your partner is the one treating you better than you are treating him. and one of the ways is supposedly to tell him you're not marrying him for certain unless he remains nice, good and all to you.
i don't think there's anything particularly wrong with thinking that way. but it just doesn't work for me.
to me, if i'm in a relationship with someone whom i don't intend to get married to, i'd simply be wasting my time and youth away. so if you don't want to marry your partner, why do you treat him extra nice, save him the biggest portion of your heart, and let him treat you extra nice in return? companionship? i could be a normal friend, and still keep you company what. why must you get yourself a partner then?
although i've been hurt enough before to realise that it's really unhealthy to put everything i have into a relationship without any reservations, i guess it's just the way i function. if you're my friend for long enough, you'll probably realise that if you treat me nice enough, i generally treat you quite nice too. (if you have issues about me being not nice enough to you, you can probably tell me, but i'll probably tell you too i don't think you're treating me nice enough, or i probably don't treat you as that close a friend as you think.) and if you're my love, and you're treating me nice, all the more i'll reciprocate without any qualms. unfortunately, i can't make myself un-nice if the person is being nice to me. it's either all or nothing for me. and unfortunately too, if the relationship goes on long enough, and my love starts being un-nice to me, i'll still be nice. fortunately, i got out of such an abusive relationship 2 years ago.
and how do you think it will be like if both you and your partner think that the other party should be the one being nicer to the self? you can sing on and on about how the other party should always be the once nicer to you than you are nice to him. but what if he tells you one day that he expects the same out of you too? how would you feel then? would you be happy to hear that? so why expect something out of somebody which you can't gurantee doing yourself?
and if you think my boyfriend is too nice for me to be typing all this crap here, every couple do have their issues. no couple will be woeless just by being nice to each other. needless to say, we have our fair share of unhappiness now and then. it's about how you work things out together when things are not working out for you. which i don't deny, i still have much to learn about how to go about doing this.
i know it's hard to put up with an un-nice partner whom you really love. and i know how it's even harder to initiate a break with the one you love so much. i was fortunate he did something unforgivable first, so that i can slap myself in the face after getting dumped, and never turn back again. but not everyone gets a chance. i personally regret not getting out of an abusive relationship sooner. don't make yourself regret in future too. you think you can't do without him, that's because you haven't given yourself a chance. everyone deserves a chance to be happy; not the occassional type of happy when he's sweet to you once in a thousand years. i'm talking about the kind of long-lasting happiness, which if you can no longer picture the both of you together in 10 years down the road, it's time you do something about it, or leave it.
on the flip side, neither do i believe in not marrying your partner unless he implicitly stays nice to you. true, if you're not happy in your relationship, and he's not treating you well before marriage, chances are 99.9999999999999% that you'll not be happy after marriage, and 100% that he's never gonna treat you well after marriage. but again, what promises or happiness can you secure by telling him that you won't marry him unless he stays nice to you? afraid that he'll change in the future? what makes you think he's not going to change once you are married? true, he can stay nice to you, and you can happily get married. but is that going to say anything about how he'll treat you after getting married?
i'm not saying by outwardly declaring that i'm getting married in 4 years time will gurantee a happy marriage. (though, yes, i'm quite sure of that actually.) but at least i won't be sending the wrong signal to a guy who's really nice to me now, and whom i love the most, that whether i love or marry him eventually will be dependent on how hard he has to work to continually please me. to me, and i know to both of us, love is not about how hard he tries to be good and make me happy now (i.e. before marriage); it's about how we work things out together and still continually shape our love to be perfect together, with each different phase we enter. some may say the real challenge is during NS, and some may say it's when one is in uni and the other is not, and some say it's when you both enter workforce. real enough, they are all challenging phases. but does that mean once you pass that phase, you no longer have to work to maintain a happy relationship anymore? what about the merging of your two families after you get married? what about when a child or more comes along? what about growing old and falling sick together? are these all not issues important for you to take into consideration too? so now you have even more issues to worry about, so when then can you get married?
no, you can't try to calculate everything nicely into the picture when you're in love. to me, it's today that's important. and if i'm going to keep holding back my love, just to make sure somebody will be nice to me for the rest for my life, i don't think the somebody is my mr right. coz mr right will never have to make me do that in exchange for his niceness and love for me.
so much so for the girl who wanted to get married before 24 when she was 14, and no longer wanted to get married when she was 19, and is now confirming getting married by 25.
it's ok if you can't appreciate my way of love. i've found my somebody else who does, and his affirmation is all i really care 'bout. =)
Friday, October 10, 2008
Thursday, October 09, 2008
Sunday, October 05, 2008
bwahhhhhhhhhhh!
thought after the tests tests tests week is over, i could get a break! but no, it's the projects projects projects season now!! *pouts*
oh welllssssss. DO NOT likes project. project as in PROJECT project THAT PROJECT. nvm if you duno what i'm talking about. sighhhh.
anyways, updates include going to chinese garden lantern fest, getting a special present from my mabbie bestie which is kind of a planner, with lots of our photos and random nice pictures inside~ and then i gave her a special present too! handmade calendar with many many of our old antique photos! hahahaa~ yay. we all have nice pressies~ hahaa
and on friday we celebrated little miss bullyee hueyhui's bday @ pizza hut! hahaha. it was the cheapest pizza hut i've ever eaten! like..$8 per pax! o_O *so amazing* hahaha. and we gave her a very very nice meow meow watch! yea. we priming her to be the submissive little kitten and continue letting us bully..yay! =)
and on saturday the electrons gathered at ky's hse to celebrate the 3 september babies' bday! ^^ yay~ it's tradition to celebrate all september babies' bday tgt! lalala~ yay. and we ate sakae party platter over wii, and they got a pretty pretty pastry from bakerzinn, which was full of strawberries and very pretty! ^^ and i got a limited ed chanel lipstick/lipgloss and a anna sui secret wish perfume from them! =) apparently my lips must look like sausages. coz it was anna sui limited ed lip gloss last yr too. hahaa. plus it's the 3rd lipgloss/lipstick i receive this bday! o_O and the 2nd perfume! which reminds me of the many beauty and cosmetic products~
and so i conclude that i must be uber 又丑又臭! =((
anyways, i'm ranting on without any pictorial evidence, coz i'm really busy and have no time to upload any photos! =X
anyway, i want to say a great thanks to my fantastic friends who has been putting in so much effort to making my 21st bday a beautiful one =)
not forgetting lulu, for being so supportive and lending me a shoulder and a hug and both ears whenever i'm unhappy. what do i do without you? thank you deardear, I LOVE YOU! =)
thought after the tests tests tests week is over, i could get a break! but no, it's the projects projects projects season now!! *pouts*
oh welllssssss. DO NOT likes project. project as in PROJECT project THAT PROJECT. nvm if you duno what i'm talking about. sighhhh.
anyways, updates include going to chinese garden lantern fest, getting a special present from my mabbie bestie which is kind of a planner, with lots of our photos and random nice pictures inside~ and then i gave her a special present too! handmade calendar with many many of our old antique photos! hahahaa~ yay. we all have nice pressies~ hahaa
and on friday we celebrated little miss bullyee hueyhui's bday @ pizza hut! hahaha. it was the cheapest pizza hut i've ever eaten! like..$8 per pax! o_O *so amazing* hahaha. and we gave her a very very nice meow meow watch! yea. we priming her to be the submissive little kitten and continue letting us bully..yay! =)
and on saturday the electrons gathered at ky's hse to celebrate the 3 september babies' bday! ^^ yay~ it's tradition to celebrate all september babies' bday tgt! lalala~ yay. and we ate sakae party platter over wii, and they got a pretty pretty pastry from bakerzinn, which was full of strawberries and very pretty! ^^ and i got a limited ed chanel lipstick/lipgloss and a anna sui secret wish perfume from them! =) apparently my lips must look like sausages. coz it was anna sui limited ed lip gloss last yr too. hahaa. plus it's the 3rd lipgloss/lipstick i receive this bday! o_O and the 2nd perfume! which reminds me of the many beauty and cosmetic products~
and so i conclude that i must be uber 又丑又臭! =((
anyways, i'm ranting on without any pictorial evidence, coz i'm really busy and have no time to upload any photos! =X
anyway, i want to say a great thanks to my fantastic friends who has been putting in so much effort to making my 21st bday a beautiful one =)
not forgetting lulu, for being so supportive and lending me a shoulder and a hug and both ears whenever i'm unhappy. what do i do without you? thank you deardear, I LOVE YOU! =)
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