I totally forgot that I had a blog!
Haha. I think I usually blog the most when I'm stressed and stuck infront of the computer, i.e. when studying or churning reports. Thankfully my current work nature freed me from that, and hence, I'm hardly blogging.
A quiet night at home, a random reminder from a friend that blogs still exist, many random thoughts running through my heads, and here I am back to a loft where words used to relieve me much...
It's true that after you pass a certain age, birthdays and numbers no longer mean a thing to you. When I was in my teens, I used to aspire completing benchmarks in life by age; finish studying by 18 years old, make my first million by 20 years old, get married by 24 years old, finish having my four kids by 30 years old, and retire to the seadside after. Haha. Don't laugh. We all used to dream big, didn't we? The younger you are, the bigger you dream, coz you have nothing to lose at all.
Alas, after passing those benchmarked ages, and we start to realize our dreams ain't gonna come true by those ages we've set, those numbers no longer mean a thing to us. Yes, I'm still young, and I'm still excited about celebrating my birthday every year. But after the hoo hah is over, I remember my age for like 2 days, and after that if you ask me? "Erm.. wait ah. Lemme think. Dear is 29 this year...so minus 4. Oh I'm turning 25!" Hahaha. Ya, don't ask me why... probably I bother more about preparing for lovely's birthday celebration than my own birthday, so I remember his age more clearly.
Anyways! I can safely declare that I'm not gonna realize any of those benchmarked dreams for the rest of my life. But you know what? I don't care. As the song goes...
"I have a dream, a song to sing... to help me cope with anything."
Dreams may or may not actually be realized, but just having a dream, keeps a fire burning in you; it pushes you forward when times are rough; reminds you that you are able to keep going coz you have a goal to attain; you have a bigger dream waiting for you that makes anything worthwhile =)
For me, my dream didn't actualize on time. But it helped me fight along the way, when the days were dark. After the dark days were over, it helped me think out what I really wanted in life, and how setting ages as benchmark wasn't really what I wanted. If I had stopped studying by 18yo, I probably won't make any million for the rest of my life. If I had made my first million by 20yo, I probably wouldn't have met my true love in school, yada yada... and seriously... why on earth would I want to retire by 30 years old!?? I must be crazy, must be stupid, must be out of my mind!
Well, things are looking different now. I'm turning 25 and I'm definitely getting married, having kids, and retiring some time in my life. But I'm just getting married a few years later, may or may not want four kids anymore, and retiring as and when I'm ready and find something to occupy myself with when I don't work. See? The big picture is still there, but no hurries! =) Phew! Feels alot better and less stressful.
There are things in life that just need to be done. Dear calls them "very important but not urgent", and indeed they are. But very important matters meaning they shouldn't be done in a slipshod manner, isn't it? So why hurry yourself to get them done? More importantly, they should only be done in the presence of all the right elements! So don't rush to get them done, if it's not time and not right yet!
That being said, I'm still looking forward to my big picture materializing! HAHA.
And with that big dream in mind, we can cope with ANYTHING! =)