i've been updating this space so infrequently that everytime i try to login, i type h060032@ntu.edu.sg into the Email add. space.

...

1 whole week of presentation/roleplay/midterm/quizzes is finally over. and im so mentally drained. and it happens to be the week after my 5 quizzes before recess week, so all my papers are back. that explains why im equally morale-ly exhausted.

i hate to admit this, but it seems that im falling back into the jc times again, when everyone else around is doing well but im stuck below mean. ok maybe not as bad, but its going somewhere near.

no, i dont like this at all. but what can i do?

yes, i can stop trying to be a smartarse next sem and happily register 6 subjects. that's what they call 没那么大的头 别带那么大顶的帽.

all my cores are doing well...below average. and today even as i walk out of my maths midterm, i felt like a flop. i dont know why..everytime i walk out of a very bad maths paper, i feel especially lousy. maybe its coz the only think i thought ive a better advantage over is going haywire too. and my french is...i duno what. i duno wad's the mean so i cant comment.. but anyway, the role play was so so only while the rest were all so outstandingly good =[

such a horrible day. and it's not only today; it's accumulative. took me so much strength just to not start crying. i havent really been crying over my books since jc, and im really scared once i start, everything will fall back into the old days again.

tingting must be strong!

gimme more time, less projects, less articles, and less chapters pls!

everything that i found interesting and fascinating as i flipped through the many many pages of readings are starting to fade after getting back all those grades. i used to think i could fare better in subjects i love, but it doesnt seem to be the case anymore. effort isnt supposed to help in retention of information.

it's nearing the end of the 2nd year in here, and the more i trudge on, the more lost i get. i entered the course full of passion and hope, but all that is left now is weariness and a sense of loss.

hopefully this is just a passing phase. we will all do better together! -wavery smile-